Oh my! Oh Goodness! Let’s get this over with! Talk about Gabby’s Hell Season! Whoa!! Okay on to the spoiler.
When last we left our gang. Callisto was laughing wickedly about Hope’s return from her cocoon. Hope steps down from the alter and proceeds to use Xena as target practice with Ares’ ‘decorations’ – trying out her teleknetic powers.
Xena of course defends herself and Gabby but before she can do the little evil spawn in Callisto zaps herself and Hope away. Outside Gabby explains the deal about the life line telling Xena that "(She) couldn’t stand the thought of losing (Xena)". Xena said she would gladly die if it meant stopping Hope and Gabby reluctantly agrees. In the same scene Xena cradles Gabby’s face in her hands and says: "It’s strange. The one I love most in the world and the one I hate look exactly the same." (ahhhh!)
The next scene has Calli changing Hope to look just like her momma-ugly green top and all (including the staff with the white fuzzy thing). Hope slowly caresses Calli’s face offering her a space in Dayhock’s Army. Calli doesn’t seem to mind the touching which is (yet then again isn’t) a surprise. I mean, really, if Gabby was caressing your face do you think you would move away. I certainly wouldn’t. Another scene you’d never thought you’d see ROC do – kissing Kevin Smith. Hope and Ares get ever so ‘friendly’ with each other and Calli seems a little jealous if you ask me. She can’t believe that Hope would wanna fool around with Ares and she puffs off, literally <G>. As the daughter of Dayhock and the God of War start to make out Ares makes the comment: "You are so unlike your mother." Now this could be taken three ways – one, that she’s a ‘bad girl’ (you know how Ares likes ‘em bad) or two, she’s turned on by a man, willing and ready to ‘make out’, or three all of the above. I vote for three<G>.
In the meantime, villagers are starting to get rounded up for the ‘big ole Saturday Night sacrifice’ when Ares comes back to remind Gabby of her debt making sure that the bard feels guilty about the duo stopping Hope. Ares’ asked Gabby how willing she was to do Hope in. He says: "Even if that means saying goodbye to your beloved Xena." (See, even Ares knows the REAL story).
We soon discover they all want the Hindsblood dagger and when Hope goes to get it, it’s already gone. She’s very disappointed. You can tell she because she does the evil eyebrow thing like her Momma Xena (Oops! I’m sorry I keep forgetting – It’s Dayhocks’ kid. It’s Dayhocks’ kid. Gotta put that alt. Fan fic down once in awhile. But then why should I? I’ve read more interesting stories than I’ve seen this year. Oh well. Season Four is on the way in only three months, maybe four. Okay I can wait that long. Can’t I? Yes I can. No you can’t. Yes I can. No you can’t! Arrrrrrggggg!!! Somebody stop the voices. . .. . .Okay that’s better. …..I’m just crazy with grief right now. Don’t worry. You’ll soon find out why.<G>).
Anyway where was I. . .oh yes. . .Calli’s upset because Hope finds Ares more intreging and like the jilted lover she goes back to her old flame – Xena! She begs (really she does) to help Xena. I never thought I’d see Calli grovel it’s so unbecoming of the Warrior Queen but she manages to convience Gabrielle and Gabby in turn conviences Xena. So the three head off in search of the dagger or something like that.
In the onset, Hope wandering out in the woods for some unknown reason comes across our hero – not Xena but Joxer. (Fooled ya didn’t I<G>). Gabby starts asking ‘relationship’ questions to get the upper hand in the upcoming battle and to try to find a peace within herself. Not only is she a crazy demi-god she’s gotta have these ‘material issues’ to boot it seems. Like I said in another report. Families are a big focus this year. Anyway when asked about Gabby’s love for Xena Joxer replies "She loves her more than anybody in the whole world." (Bet old Perdy boy is rolling in his grave. . .Wait a second. . .They burned him up didn’t they. . .Okay he’s crying his eyes out in Elysia cause now he knows he’s never gonna get lucky with Gabby ever again. ..Ha.Haaaaaa sucker!!!!)
At the next raging village X and G get seperated while Calli has a grand ole time blowing everything in sight to Kingdom Come. Hope sees this and steps in hoping X will lead her to the dagger but X gets wise to her. Now here’s where they could’ve threw in a great subtext moment of Gabby ‘seducing’ Xena with a passionate kiss will saying it wasn’t REALLY Gabrielle (Call it the ole bait and Autolycus switch routine – Now that’s a concept I WOULDN’T mind rehashing<G>).
But like I say Xena gets wise and points a dagger at Hope and asks what her sisters name is. She replies she doesn’t have one and shoots Xena fifty feet away. Of course Ares shows up and saves his snuggle bunny.
X and the gang hit the trail and after Joxer falls off the horse yet again Xena gets feed up. She bitch slaps him and calls him a fool, a moron. All you non-Joxer fans will love it. That’s what’s great about this show – a little sumpthin’ for everyone<G>.
That night Ares appears to Xena and Gabby telling the bard she’s gonna be a grandma and the next day before decending upon the temple of Dayhock Hope comes to Gabby asking for her to be her mommie again. Gabby doesn’t by it and says she’s sorry that the poison didn’t finish her. Hope pulls away from her mothers loving embrace and heads back to the temple. Gabby and Xena get to the temple soon after and Xena asks Gabby to wait outside but Gabby says no. "After all we’ve been through I’m with you til the end."
But Xena makes her own MAINTEXT confession to Gabby by saying: "I want you to know I still think you are the BEST THING that ever happened to me. You gave my life meaning and joy. You’ll be a part of me forever." <sniffle, sniffle>
Once inside the temple we see Joxer has been carted up like the other sheep for sacrifice. Xena and Gabby come in kicking butt but soon get their butts kicked. Four guys proceed to beat the life outta them but X and G find inner strength (I assume) and the tide turns. Xena sees Joxer and asks "Did you get it?" Sure enough! Our hero, for once, Joxer has the hindsblood danger and tosses it to Xena without screwing up. (<wink,wink>See it was all part of the plan. He has the dagger, gets captured, gets taken to the temple where X shows up to save the day. Brillant!!)
Xena then tries to kill Hope but Hope puts some kind of ‘Yoda’ hold on her and X has to fight for every step. Ares who got knocked out by a major fireball when Calli arrived moments before warns Gabrielle again about her debt. Gabrielle screams. She charges and as Xena raises the dagger, pulls Hope with her into a fiery pit behind them. Xena screams. Gabrielle screams. But the scream that actually ‘almost’ made me cry was Joxers (YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT, Okaaaaayyy!). Xena’s scream was more of shock. Joxer's was more of realization and agony.