ADVENTURE IN THE SIN TRADE I
Xena is pi**ed! She's ripping up the trail looking for Hades.
She finds him and tells him to take her to Gabrielle. Hades said she hadn't been by but she could visit Solon if she likes. Xena refuses, saying it's Gabrielle she has to know about. They put two and two together and realize that Gabby must be in the Land of the Dead for Amazons. Hades can't give her directions but, like always, Xena knows how to get there. Xena ditches Argo for some other mare (I kept waiting for Ares to show up and offer Argo the chance . . .oh never mind. . .that's been done before. Although that hasn't stopped TPTB from beating a dead horse before - no pun intended Argo<G>). Anyway, Xena goes a huntin' and kills her an Elk (you gotta say that with a southern twang<G>). She hoists it over her shoulder and carries it to a cave. (She pretty good at it too. Must be from all those times she carried Gabby to the bedrolls, laid her down and made . . .I'm sorry. I was thinking of a BL Miller story<VBG>. ) Okay, Xena's got this dead animal so she makes a new wardrobe outta him (bold choice by the way - wearing Elk instead of Cow - but the color is all wrong. It's tan and it doesn't bring out her eyes as much as the black leather. . .ahhh leather. . .oh gods I'm starting to sound like Ares. Somebody slap me. Ouch!!. . .That's better.
Where was I . . .Oh yeah the dead Elk) Around this time Xena starts flipping out - she's hearing Gabby call for her, she's wearing this dead animals coat, she's beginning to smear it's blood on her face and starts to do this funky dance. If I were on acid I'm sure I'd love this. Kinda like Pink Floyd's The Wall - I might actually understand it if I'm high. But I'm not a druggie so I'll just have to think it's TPTB's way of showing Xena flipping out.
Either that or Rob's been hittin' the wacky weed and Lucy really better put him on a shorter leash. Anyway, Xena doesn't really flip out because she REALIZES she's flipping out. If someone is truly flipping out everyone else knows it but them. But from my non-professional psychology background - Xena still has one foot in reality. She just misses Gabby really, really bad.~sniffle~
Did you get all that? In my non-expert opinion Xena is not clinically insane (yet<G>). Now lets move on shall we?<G> During Xena's breakdown she remembers bumping and grinding with Borias. He tells her he loves her. She basically doesn't give a s**t. Ya know the usual. <BG> Suddenly a woman comes in with a young girl and tells them she will help them take on the amazons because she got kicked out for being different. She's some kind of oracle, soothsayer, etc. and she announces to the room that Xena is pregnant. I personally think she got kicked out because she wears too much eyeliner<giggle>. Well she does! Wait until you get a look at her. La Mao she is not. She does, however, have this cute little amazon she touches seductively and hypnotizes. That was pretty cool. You can certainly see who the butch is in that relationship<LOL>. You may also notice that the young woman with the old witch looks like Gab's a little. Her attire and face to a certain extent.
But that's irrelevant. And it may not even be true. Maybe I just want my Gabby back so much that I'm seeing her in other women. I love Gabrielle. Have I mentioned that? <G> We flash-forward now to the present and Xena sees a young amazon who's impaled on a tree. She fights some of Alti's bad guys (because it's Xena and there has to be more than one fight scene per ep) and cuts down the young woman. Some other little 'amazonettes' watch and consider Xena a friend. One girl recognizes Xena's wail as she stands by the dead girls pyre, she's built.
There's a very touching tribute to Xena and Gabby's relationship with great dialog. Xena moans and cries and carries on and on as she thinks of Gabby. The little amazon tells the story of how Xena was going to kill her but Borias stopped her. Later Alti tries to seductively convince Xena to kill the girl (watch the way they stand and Alti's movements <wink,wink>). She tells Xena that the girl will take her power someday. Xena steps towards her but can't bring herself to do it. Borias comes in and puts a stop to it. But the amazon girl said she didn't think Xena would have killed her even if Borias hadn't showed up. About this time, Xena kills 'the horse she rode in on' - literally. And she begins to drink its blood. This is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on X:WP.
Xena's spirit then leaves her body and the amazonettes take her to a cave for safety. Somewhere in here, Alti tells Xena that LaMao's version of 'the truth' was wrong. And she promises to make Xena 'The Destroyer of Nations', if she helps her in her quest for this special power she seeks. Xena likes that idea a lot because she's got that wicked grin that could turn anyone to butter<G>.
Finally Xena meets her goal - she's in the Land of the Dead, though not actually dead. The young girl she held the pyre for thanks Xena for committing her body to the flames and asks why Xena is joining her. She tells the woman she's looking for a friend and once more someone points out that Gabby must be one 'special friend' if she's going to these links to see her (first time was Blind Faith BTW, which I will eventually do a report on.). Xena sees the former Queen of the Siberian Amazons but it's not a very happy reunion.
Turns out the Siberians can't go to 'Eternity' but the other amazons (i.e. Gabby) can. The queen tells Xena if she want to find 'HER precious Gabby' she has to climb inside a volcano to get into Eternity. Xena starts to walk to the volcano but she hears Gabby's voice and stops. Now either she decides that the climb is just too damn much <G> or she has to right a wrong she did long ago that hurt the Siberian Amazons. She tells Gabby: "You were my light. . .I realize what it was you gave me - a light of my own. There's something I gotta do. Something you'd want me to do. . .I love you."
Finally! An 'I love you' that means something! It wasn't spoken in fear. It wasn't spoken for forgiveness. It was genuine. And although Gabby couldn't reply, it was beautiful. Xena now wakes up from her trip to the Dead Land and finds one of Alti's men tied up. The amazonettes said they were going to kill him but they give Xena the honor. Xena cuts the man free and tell him to warn Alti that she's coming. Alti, since she's got that wonder sense, tells the man when he gets to camp that she already knew of Xena's approach. She sends out 'the Beserker' after Xena.
The amazonettes engage in battle as they approach Alti's compound, and the Beserker goes after Xena. The Warrior can sense all of Xena's past hardships of physical pain and make her relive them including Caesar's attack on her legs. She eventually wins (of course) but her legs don't feel any better. When the mare, which he was riding, looks at Xena, they all watch Alti's spirit leave the animal. Xena's legs return to normal but she knows it's going to be a tough battle ahead. The amazonettes ask if they'll win and Xena says they must. To be continued. . . But as for next week we get to see the naked amazon queen strip Xena of her clothing. They both wear black thongs BTW (hubba,hubba!<LOL>) And as for the disclaimer - No Dead Amazons lost their lives in the production of this motion picture.
Queen of Subtext