My apologies for a late report. I’ve been sick this morning and spent most of the morning in bed. That of course did not prevent me from dragging my butt out of bed earlier this morning, going to mom’s house and seeing Chakram (G).
Let’s say that TPTB are batting 1000 so far this year. I really enjoyed it. And I love Gabby. Have I mentioned that? (G) The woman keeps getting sexier and more intriguing every year but that could just be my biased opinion since she’s a bard like me (G). Anyway…on to the story.
Kal, the God of War, in the region they are currently in, wants to get the chakram of light. Only thing is there’s a catch. Only the purest of heart or soul or something along those lines can take it from the sacred altar. Kal forces a monk to go into a temple to get it. When he goes in it’s sitting on a yin and yang table but one chakram is already missing. The monk picks it up but he’s not as holy as Kal had hoped and he burns up quicker than a campfire marshmallow.
Cut to the ‘crew’. Xena and Gabby are still sitting around looking like they just woke up from a dirt nap. And when you think of it they just did (G) so that’s fitting. Americe (?), or amazonette as I so often called her – let’s be honest she’s a KID for crying out loud, a young Gabby if you will minus the good looks and sparkling personality (G) – anyway, she gives Xena back her Chakram. Xena tells Gabby she doesn’t know what it is. Gabby’s like ‘Wooooooo! Hold on a second here’ and goes to get Eli. He might have brought Xena back but he didn’t bring ALL of Xena back. Gabby then runs down the list of Xena’s foes – Callisto, Alti, Caesar – but Xena can’t seem to remember them.
Meanwhile Ares shows up at Kal’s pad and they talk about how Xena got the dark chakram. Seems the light chakram can kill a God. But remember the little catch, someone pure can only remove it. Kal realizes he needs Xena to get the chakram and sends his henchmen after her.
The ‘crew’ decides they need to get more clothes and weapons. At the market place, Gabby comes out in her new garb – the pics we’ve seen of the Xenaistic leather get up – along with a new weapon. Gabby asks Xena, who’s wearing a flowing dress (nice move by TPTB to hide the growing belly (G)), what she thinks of the weapons she’s holding. Xena says they look okay but if she’s wants to buy them she better ask Joxer since he’s the one with the bucks. Americe points out to Xena that Gabrielle had bought them for her because SHE’S the warrior. Right then Kal’s dudes attack. They knock Joxer to the ground – typical – and Americe and Gabrielle take them on. Gabby’s pretty damn good with her new toy. She steals a henchmen’s sword with it and hoists it into another’s gut with a might sweep. WooHoo!! Don’t mess with the bard baby! (LOL) No more ‘way of love’ for her. (VBG)
Xena doesn’t engage at all. In fact she stays motionless and gets popped in the mouth by an evil dude. The group gets surrounded. Now here’s the cool part. Joxer finally manages to get up and he dive tackles one of the men and two others also fall as a result (like Domino’s)! It creates the diversion that Gabby and Army (G) need to take out the other guys. Gabby yells to Joxer to get Xena out of there which he manages to do without screwing it up – untypical (G). (Sidenote: I really like how they are ‘slowly’ changing Joxer from total goofy ball to trusted allie)
Once safely back at the batcave – oops sorry. Wrong show (G) – the trio tells Eli about their trouble at the marketplace. Eli tells them that Kal is the God of War ‘round here and they gotta see his friend the scholar to find out what’s going on. As they all leave Joxer pulls Eli to the side. Since he’s the ‘love guru’, Joxer asks how he should go about confessing his love to Gabrielle. Eli said to make it short and sweet. It won’t confuse her.
They make camp as they try to help Xena remember her dark, violent times to kickstart the ‘real’ Xena. Armmy doesn’t wanna play the game and decides to go hunting. Xena offers to go with her since she’s a great tracker – of course Xena doesn’t realize it (Eli mentioned it) but offers to help. Armmy insults Xena by calling her a big kid but Xena follows her anyway. Eli and Gabby are now alone and the sparks really fly – He takes her in his arms and kisses her passionately, telling her Joxer is a stooge and Xena will never be herself again so that only leaves him . . . Okay I’m teasin’ - that doesn’t happen (LOL) but I bet I managed to raise your blood pressure. Okay, seriously, Eli and Gabby are now alone. She talks about how defenseless Xena is now. And she also confesses that she can’t be on Eli’s path. He says he knows that and he supports whatever Gabby has decided. Gabby says (and I quote so there’s no misunderstanding (G):
Gabby: "It’s ironic. Right now Xena is everything I always wanted her to be. But without her darkside she’s…lost. My path is with Xena – helping her how ever I can. I’ll do whatever I have to do to protect her."
So there we have it. Xena said it in Family Affair (‘You are my way’). Now Gabby says it! WooHoo! Could it be that our gals have finally saw the light?! Could it be that they realize they are MEANT for each other?! Ohhhh yeah baby!! Yeah!!! (LOL)
Xena is looking for Armmy and finds some of Kal’s henchmen holding her. Xena agrees to go with Kal when he says all he wants is Xena and he won’t harm her friends. Of course Armmy tries to attack Kal and gets knocked out for her trouble. Later, when no food appeared I’m assuming (LOL) Gabby goes in search of them. Army wakes up and tells Gabby that Kal took her so they go off to the Kal temple.
At the temple Kal tells Xena that he wants her to get the Chakram of light since the last holiest of monks wasn’t so holy and looks like a piece of burnt toast. But Ares shows up and frees her from her shackles. The Gods of War fight. Xena sees a chakram on the way out and has a few flashbacks. She slips away while the Gods duke it out. The gang is hiding in the bushes. Armmy wants to charge in but Gabby pulls her back and tells her Xena’s in no danger because Kal would have killed her in the forest. WooHoo!! Not only is non-peace loving Gabby back but a little ‘brighter’ to boot!!(LOL) Gabby says she has a plan but just as she says it, Xena strolls up (LOL). They all leave the temple area.
They get to Eli’s friend’s house but it seems the dead monk is his friend. Eli has a tiff but tells the girls to go and relax. Xena opts for a bath. Joxer unknowingly follows her but being the gentleman he his keeps his back turned. He asks Xena for advice on how to tell Gabby he loves her. Xena kinda mulls it over and decides to tell him to be straight (no pun intended (G)) and tell her – no strings attached. After he leaves she says ‘You could always kiss the girl’ – now I’m not sure if she’s speaking from experience here but it sure looks like it (LOL). It’s just down right funny and subtextual like the good ole days when subtext WAS subtext. Call me a sucker but I kinda like the ‘are they/aren’t they feel’ because as you know, I feel the story has gone MAINTEXT at this point. Anyway, back to our tale.
As Xena soaks Ares shows up and puts the moves on her. Which after watching the Furies this is a little bit freaky if you ask me. (LOL) Especially if you think they are related. I however don’t but that’s just my opinion. Anyway, they get ready to kiss and Gabby walks in. She reads Ares the riot act for trying to take advantage of Xena in her current state. Ares plays up that he likes the good Xena and if Gabby really cared for Xena she’d be ‘happy’ for her. Of course he snickers to Gabby from behind Xena so the ‘once warrior princess’ can’t see him. He’s such a dog (LOL) but I like how he tried to one up Gabby.
Let’s see what happened next – I can’t remember (LOL) my head is pounding, my throat is sore – errgghh! I hate being sick. Okay, let’s cut to the chase. Eli figures out that the Chakram of light can kill a God – that’s why the dueling morons Ares and Kal want it. Gabby and Armmy clear a path to the Chakram temple by kicking a little War God butt (well actually it’s the war god henchmen but none the less…) Xena gets inside and grabs the Chakram and comes outside as Ares and Kal close in. Once they see Xena’s got it they back away but Xena can’t kill and drops the Chakram. The bad dudes charge. The crew gets inside and locks the door but not before Armmy grabs the dropped Chakram.
There’s a back door and Gabby and Joxer race to lock that one too. As the bad dudes bang against it, Joxer says he’s gotta tell Gabby something. Gabby’s like ‘Right NOW?!’. He says that it can’t wait and tells her he’s in love with her. Gabby doesn’t have time to reply because the bad guys crash through. Xena takes her old Chakram and places it on the altar, fixing it. Everybody, except Xena, fights. When Gabby is about to get shish-k-bobbed by an evil dude or was it Kal. My nose is running now and I don’t remember (VBG). Anyway, Xena finally takes action and cuts Kal and he gets ‘blown away’ by the light Chakram. Ares tries to talk Xena out of the Chakram but Xena won’t buy it. She takes her old Chakram and the new one, slapping them together to ‘neutralize’ them.
The evil dudes try to keep up the attack but look out cause Xena is back and she’s kicking butt. And the new Chakram is really pretty cool. It allows Xena to be at two places as once (well technically three (G)) but you’ll have to see that for yourself. In any event I like the new Chakram and evidently so does Xena cause she looks like a kid in a candy store (LOL). Ares takes off in defeat – as usual – and the team all heads out. They bid goodbye to Eli who’s going to hang out at his friend’s pad and read some scrolls. Joxer tells Gabby she doesn’t have to answer him, he just wanted her to know. And of course the touchy-feelly part where Xena said she knew she had to find her old self because when she was praying for an answer earlier, Gabby came to her at that moment. Ahhhhhhhh. . .how sweet(VBG).
And as I said, they are batting 1000 so far this season. They just might keep it up to with next week’s ep. Since Xena won’t be Ares right hand lady – he’s found another one. And at first glance she looks like a Barbie doll (LOL) but Xena will kick her fanny from Greece to kingdom come I’m sure. (LOL)