I love Josh Becker. Have I mentioned that? Yes he's an egomaniac who thinks he's a
real Steven Speilburg (and far from it) but the man's got a handle on X and G's
relationship. And as for the comment of subtext being 'played for laughs' I didn't see it
as a slap to subtext at all. But keep in mind that my love for Becker doesn't come close
to my love for Gabby but he's gaining momentum (G). As for the writers - George
Strayton and Tom Oneil penned this ep. Looks like the Herc brothers are official out
now and RJ is at the helm.
Our tale opens with bathing amazons and someone watching from the bushes. They are
talking about how they want Gabby, Xena and Eve to stay. We then switch to Gabby
and Xena. Xena's making a swing for Eve. As Eve tries it out Gabby talks to Xena about
settling down there. Gabby suggests that the kids in the village need her as queen.
They should consider it.
Back to the bathing amazons. They get the intruder by beating the tar out of 'em.
Back to Xena and Gabby. Gabby says, "It makes sense. We've never really had our own
home. So I see this place as our domestic bliss all we have to do is fix it up a little bit."
Xena looks unsure but says it's worth considering. Gabby says thanks. (Ahhhhh (BG) ).
The amazons then bring the culprit to Gabby and Xena for judgement. Joxer says he
knows them. Xena bends down and asked if he got the note from Cleopatra but Joxer
says he forgot. Xena rises and she says she never saw him before in her life. (LOL)
They take Joxer away until the ruling and Gabby takes Xena by the waist showing her
the house, suggesting they could build a porch where she, Xena and Eve could relax. I
love Josh Becker. Have I mentioned that? (VBG)
Joxer is in the stocks where some amazons girls are taunting him. Back at the royal
hut, one of the amazons gives Eve a dolly and she talks about how she wants a
daughter but getting close to a man is the hard part. Joxer stops an amazon and says
he has to use the little warrior room. He tells her that she can take him to the bushes
over there or help him by dropping his pants right here. That earns him a slap on the
face and no solution to his problem. She says if he'll tell her what Xena looks for in a
sidekick she'll help. Lots of flips and a good war cry her tells her. But she doesn't give
him a hand - she leaves.
We then cut to the steam hut where the girls are gossiping about sex. Some girl says
she's going to stay a virgin forever. Xena says forever is a long time and Gabby chokes
on her drink and they exchange grins (LOL). One girl asks what it's like being with a
man. Xena tells her the good news is it's never the same and the bad news is it's never
the same. Sometimes you expect Greek fire but you get diddly. (LOL) Gabby adds that
Xena's studied the subject more than she has but she thinks Xena trying to say that
some people are better lovers than others. Gabby and Xena stop grinning and start
smiling at each other. Oh my god!(LOL). (Sidenote: Even my hubby who is subtext
deprived caught that one. Sidenote number two, hubby also added this wasn't the
greatest Xena ep but 'It's better than the crap we've been given most of the season' -
that's a direct quote BTW.)
The amazon asks then what makes a good lover - someone gentle and kind? Xena says
no and Gabby says yes (LOL), everyone looks at each other since they gave different
answers. Gabby says it's complicated. The conversation then turns to X and G
considering staying with the tribe. Xena looks a little miffed when Gabby says they
might not leave. But Gabby adds nothing is certain.
A loud noise wakes Xena and Gabby. Gabby asks if it was Xena at first and Xena laughs
at the noise. Gabby realizes it's the queen's horn and she has to meet the tribe. She
suggests that Xena clean up the house, play with Eve or if that's not good go hunt and
kill something. After Gabby leaves Xena takes Eve outside to her swing and tells her
that one day all of this would be hers. Xena runs down the list of pros of staying and
figures it might not be too bad but in doing so she realizes someone is behind her.
It's an amazonette who wants to be Xena's new side kick since Gabby's busy being
queen. The amazonette does some kicks and pushups to prove her worth but Xena
asks if she knows how to clean. The amazonette isn't sure what to make of it but they
Meanwhile Gabby is nodding off at her throne. Cyan says 'Queen Gabrielle!' waking her
up. Gabby whines, 'Not tonight' but realizes she's at the tribal meeting.(LOL) Gabby
planned to let Joxer go but Cyan points out the punishment for looking on an amazon is
losing an eye.
Amazonette is finishing cleaning and running down the list of all the things they're doing
to the hut saying what more could any amazon want. After she leaves Xena says aloud
to Eve, "if I was an amazon." Gabby walks up and tells Xena that Joxer is going to be
blinded. Xena said that's just a myth, guys really don't go blind by doing that (LOL).
Gabby points out that no she's talking about the law but she's going to find a way
around it. Gabby noticed that Xena cleaned the place and says that she's glad to see
that Xena is really trying to make it work. Xena doesn't confess - she just lets Gabby
The 'dolly' amazon goes to Joxer and says she wants to make a baby. Joxer says
there's more to it then just but she leaves to see Cyan. She says she knows Cyan
wanted the throne but she also knows she'll do right by supporting Gabby.
Sidekick amazon goes to Xena and says she wants to help with the dance for Gabby's
dance of queenhood. Reluctantly Xena agrees. Gabby goes to see Joxer and tells him
she's trying to find a loophole in the scroll. Xena is giving a halfhearted effort to the
dance and Gabby comes up. Xena says she's done for the day and sidekick amazon
makes a crack about Xena being old. They all leave and Gabby and Xena talk about
Xena's lack of enthusiasm.
Gabby thinks Xena doesn't think she (Gabby) can make a difference to the tribe. Xena
argues at first then agrees. Xena says she's tried but Gabby calls her on it saying she
could dance better than what Xena was doing. Xena says she's sick of communal life.
Gabby calls her on it saying Xena never intending to stay in the first place. Xena
suggests that she and Eve should go away for awhile and do some fishing. Gabby said
it's probably a good idea. Xena says, "It is?" Gabby said, "You really think so don't
you?" Xena says, "yeah I do. I'll head back and get some things. After the queen
ceremony me and Eve we're out of here."
Xena goes back home while Gabby goes to the throne room and then to Joxer. She
found that if Joxer pledges his allegiance to her then she could pardon him for a first
offense. Some amazons come to take Gabby to another ritual. She has to get a mud
bath and howl at the moon until dawn. Gabby is far from pleased but she does it
anyway (LOL). The next morning, sidekick amazon comes back and tells Xena that
since "You and Gabrielle broke up you need a new traveling partner." Xena points out
that "Me and Gabrielle have only separated for a few weeks so we can work things
The amazon who wants a child frees Joxer. They go to a shed where the practice
kissing. Cyan wants to argue with Gabby over freeing Joxer but Gabby points out that
she has that right. Joxer ends up telling the amazon that she's too young and he won't
take advantage of her. But the amazon won't give up. Crane goes to release him and
finds him with the amazon. Now he's been kissing amazon's 'out of season'. Since he's
got two offenses now he has to fight to the death with the queen of the amazons.
Sidekick amazon points out that she packed some things for the trip - a couple of
weeks is okay and who knows what might develop. Xena apologizes and says she's not
looking for a sidekick. The amazon says she took out some of the scrolls from the
saddlebag to make room for her stuff. Xena takes the scrolls inside. She starts to read
Eve a story, "The Return of Callisto".
Gabby is in the steam hut thinking when Xena comes in. Xena tells her that she read
them. Gabby was shocked (as was I (LOL)). Xena says that if anyone like Gabby can
find grace and meaning in everything that happens. is worth sticking around to see as
queen. She wants to stay with Gabby. Gabby tells Xena about the fight to the death.
Xena says she doesn't have to worry. She'll kill him.
Joxer and the amazon are both now in stocks and talking. Joxer tells her to wait - she's
got time. He's also convinced that Xena will figure something out. Cyan is giving an
announcement of the coming battle. And Gabby says that she's using the queen's
destruction of using her champion, Xena.
Now comes the WWF scene. I have to admit it was rather funny because I think the
WWF is pretty ridiculous anyway. (LOL). Since Xena wanted to give the amazons a
good show they toss each other around. But at one point of being insulted Joxer really
punches Xena. And he starts to cower, "I'm sorry." But Xena lays him out and puts the
pinch on him. She asks what constitutes death but he's still moving Cyan points out.
Sidekick can still see him breathing after Xena knuckles his chest. After she twists his
nipples he dies (LOL). Cyan declares him dead but Xena undoes everything and Joxer
comes back to life.
Cyan argues but everyone disagrees with some of the old customs. She asks to leave
but Gabby says no. Someone who loves the tribe should be leading it. She's going to
be going with Xena.
Xena and Gabby share a tender heart to heart talk at the end with Eve between them.
Xena asks if she'll miss it. Gabby says yes and no - the rituals were a bit much. Gabby
asks where they are going next and Xena suggests a trip on the Nile. Gabby suggests
camel racing in Alexander. Xena says I know of someplace we could stay. Fade to
I have to admit I liked this ep a whole lot. If the rest of the season is as good as this
I'll stick around for season six but we've got a few more to go so we'll she how it works
out. Xena and Gabby actually related to each other. They each were willing to change
their lives for each other in the end. That's the warrior princess and the amazon bard
I've come to know. (VBG)