I love Gabby. Have I mentioned that? (VBG) Damn! The things this woman won’t do for her warrior (and vice versa). Gabby certainly plays the father role in Eve’s life, which I’ll explain in a bit. I’ll call it the Dad Tally – you’ll see what I mean….anyway on to our tale.
Our story opens with the messenger of love and peace (AKA Eve) walking through amazon land. A detachment of Romans approach and say that the ‘newly reformed lover of Eli’ Emperor sent them to protect her. Eve says get lost. They say nope, we got orders. She explains she’s going back to the amazons to ‘work things out’. Silly girl…for being Gabrielle’s gal she a little bit backward on such things like amazons. Well she finds out soon enough as the amazons surround them – a bunch of them too. Seems they all grouped together to take on the Romans. But right now they want Eve’s hide. They attack and kill all the Romans except one who stumbles into town to get more forces. And low and behold but who does he stumble into? You guessed it Xe and Gab.
They learn the amazons have taken Eve and Xena says she knows why – they’re gonna kill her. Woooooooo….end of teaser.
Xena and Gabby show up at the battlefield and find all the dead Romans (big loss huh?). Anyway, they see some prisoners who were shot in the back with arrows. An arrow falls short at Xena’s feet (obviously a warning to walk no further. Either that or these amazons can’t shoot for poop). They find out that they are from Cyan’s tribe. Varia has united all the existing nations together and she’s the ones that ordered their death. The new Cyan (who’s actually the lil amazon that wanted to be Xena’s new partner in Kindred Spirits when Xe and Gabby went through their ‘separation’<VBG>) wouldn’t kill the prisoners so Varia’s amazons did it. Anyway, Cyan agrees to take Xena and Gabby (mostly Gabby since she’s a legendary queen) to the council.
Once there Xena starts to get uppity in that warrior princess way of hers upon seeing Eve shackled and amazons talking about killing her. Of course, voice of reason Gabrielle, says chill, let me handle this. Xena concedes and since Gabby is a queen too they let her have a say. Varia continues to tell the story of how Livia came to their village, killed her sister and enslaved her tribe. She had the chance to kill Livia but she chickened out but she won’t make the same mistake twice.
The daring duo manage to get a ‘defense’ for Eve in one hour and they adjourn for, I don’t know, lunch or something. Upon Varia’s leaving, Xena sees her sword and knows that sword belongs to Ares. He’s up to something. Xena follows Varia and does a little test –a move she pulls is one Ares taught her so she knows something is going on and confronts Varia. Varia says Ares wants to make the amazons strong again. Xena says she’s fooling herself. All Ares cares about is himself.
Xena goes back to the council for Eve’s trial and asks why she raided Varia’s tribe. From her experience it wasn’t good pickins considering all the power she already had. Eve agrees and says that it doesn’t matter because she did it. Xena says that Ares is up to his old tricks and if she doesn’t care about herself at least do something to make the amazons see he’s fooling them now. Finally Eve tells them that Ares egged her into doing it to enhance her reputation as someone not to mess around with. Varia listens to the stories but isn’t impressed and leaves. Gabby asks to join the committee. They accept since she is a queen. Xena takes her aside and Gabby tells Xena there’s a wisdom to the amazon ways. Xena remarks ‘Like paint you blue and make you howl at the moon’ (LOL) Xena made a funny (VBG). Xena warns that if she can’t talk them out of it she’s getting Eve out the old fashioned way…and we all know that means opening a can of whoop ass on the amazons (VBG).
Varia goes to Ares a tad miffed and asks if he was behind the raid that killed her sisters. He said yes but he did it to try to bring the tribes together through hatred of Rome. Ares goes on to say that Gurkan didn’t buy Livia’s slaves so Livia pitched them all overboard her ship. Ares talks the big talk and tells Varia that Eve is Rome and she’s gotta show Rome that she means business.
Xena is waiting outside with Eve. An amazon gets Xena and says they are giving the verdict. Xena walks in just in time to hear Gabrielle say ‘Guilty’. Ohhh baby! Does the proverbial sh*t hit the fan then (LOL). Xena is beyond pissed and Gabby chases her down, explaining that if she didn’t vote with them she would loose a voice when it came to sentencing. She HAD to vote guilty. Xena’s got the ‘don’t talk to me right now’ attitude and stomps away. Gabby lets her go.
Xena goes to meet Ares in a meadow. He tells her a ‘fairy tale’ about the scorpion and swan. He cuddles up to her putting that magic god touch of his on hers but she doesn’t buy it for long. She tells him he’s a son of a bitch (LOL) Ain’t ‘love’ a bitch Ares. He comes out and says he’s basically just looking for a good time to build up his reputation; Eve just got in the way.
Xena goes back to see the sentencing of Eve beginning. Before Varia can pass the ruling Gabby stands up and says nah ah, you aren’t the queen until you defeat me. Number 2 on the dad tally – Gabby ain’t gonna let anything happen to her little girl. Xena rushes outside and waits for Gabrielle. She tells Gabby to let her fight for her. She says no, if she’s queen she’ll pardon Eve. She asks that Xena stay out of it. Reluctantly Xena agrees. They go to the rink and Eve reaches out to Gabrielle. Eve loves her Daddy (LOL). To make a long fight short Gabby ends up getting her ass kicked and as the amazons drag Eve away, Xena goes to GABBY (not Eve) and weeps over her battling bard who is now badly battered (say that five times fast<G>)
They string Eve up as Xena cleans Gabby up. Gabby wakes up and apologizes for not winning. Xena said she did all she could but now she has to do what she has to do. Gabby agrees and tells her to go. Xena runs off and confronts Ares. She tells him that now he’s got his godhood back he’s got everything he wants. He says not everything but he’d love to see Xena whoop a little amazon butt and he won’t get the in the way.
They take Eve to the pit of bubbling acid (I’m not sure how that works – LOL – but this IS Xena folks). They get ready to toss her in but momma comes to the rescue and starts to whoop on Varia. Varia hold her own pretty good on the rickety bridge but of course Xena manages to get her down. But Xena 'gives up' and as Varia goes to strike she sees what she's become. She tells Varia it’s her guilt over not killing Livia that’s making her act now. She has to think about what she doing. She can’t save the sisters she lost but she can help those she has now by forsaking Ares and leading her sisters the right way. Varia starts to cry. Xena frees Eve and Eve rushes down to console Varia. Varia accepts and says she has to talk to the other queens. Ares shows up and starts to laugh. He tells Xena, "You had this planned all along. You are soooo good. And I wouldn’t have it any other way." He vanishes and Eve and Xena go back to the village after a mom/daughter hug. Varia sentences Livia to death so that Eve the messenger of peace can live. Eve goes to her parents and hugs Gabby first. Dad Tally number 3 – Eve thanks her Pop for taking care of her and defending her.
They all go outside and Eve says she’s heading to India/Chin – alone. Eve tells Gabby thanks for saving her mother, for bringing her such happiness. She’s forever in Gabby’s debt. They hug and Gabby says you don’t owe me anything. Dad Tally number 4 – Gabby does the things she does out of love, not reward.
Eve turns to Xena and says ‘thank you for saving my life so many times. I love you.’ Xena looks like she’s gonna cry and asks if they can walk with her for aways. Eve says no, she has to do this on her own and says goodbye. They watch her leave. Gabby looks to Xena whose gonna lose it and she runs her hand up Xena’s arm in support. Xena yells to Eve, ‘Stay outta trouble.’ Gabby grins and shakes her head while Xena covers her face to cry. Dad Tally number 5 – Gabby plays the role of stoic dad knowing this would happen someday. Xena feels the ‘empty nest’. Ahhhhhh…their baby left home.
Announcer: The mission…impossible.
Man w/a knife to Xena’s throat: "Fire the catapults!"
Announcer: The enemy invincible.
Amazons running around. Varia walking blindfolded.
Man: Is that fear I see in your eyes
Xena knocking the man away from her.
Announcer: The episode unforgettable.
‘Pumped up’ Gabby running and flexing through the water with a bow swung around her back yelling. Xena catching her chakram.
Announcer: Battle on Xena!