Send In the Clones

BY

C.N. WINTERS

.



Did Tapert have fun poking at the fans? He sure did (G). Did he take the right approach
with this episode concept? Nope I don't think so. But keep in mind it went from a comedy
to a drama to a comedy again. I think it spent too long on the drawing board but that's
just my opinion, which is worth very little.

I can handle the Gab obsessed subtext fan (Gee, wonder who THAT'S supposed to
be?(VBG)). I can handle the Joxer lover. I can handle the kick *** gal. But why, I
wonder, why on Gods green earth could not a single one of these Xena worshipers
walked up to the doctor to say, "Hey! You look kinda like Alti". I could envision Claire
blundering along, huming and haaaing over how she's NOT Alti - "What are you crazy? I'm
not Alti. Get outta here!" as her eyes shift back and forth hoping they'd buy it. Now that
would have been humorous. But nope, nothing. 

And while I'm complaining (VBG) did they revive Meg by mistake? (LOL) Because with that
much mugging I'm sure I was watching Meg and NOT the warrior princess. How did Xena
learn to eat pizza and spot weld that quick? How did she know how to hail a taxi? Where
did the get the 'bubbly'? How did they pay for it or did they just knock over a liquor store
on 34th and Broadway? I mean…I know Xena has 'many skills' but get real(LOL). I can
suspend my disbelief when I watch Xena. She REALLY CAN jump 3 stories in the air while
standing still. She can. (VBG) But she can't get THAT excited about a bathroom. I'm
sorry. I just can't see it.

The funniest part of this whole episode was Gabrielle who didn't do too much on the
whole. But here's what caught my eye. While Xena was busy stuffing her face with pizza
(Brief interlude if I may: I'd like to see these characters after 5 months of pizza, donuts
and god knows what else they are feeding them. I can see Xena sprawled out on a sofa
eating bon bons and telling 'her woman' not to forget the Twinkies this time when she
goes shopping. With remote in hand Xena keeps rewinding the scene from The Quest and
ROTV sighing 'Alright!'). 

Anyway, while Xena is stuffing her face in that warrior princess I've been eating pizza for
years way, you'll notice Gabrielle trying to use a straw. She sucks a little (insert your
own subtext joke here folks). Then she looks at it and tries again. They show a few
shots of the Xena geeks (VBG). When they come back to Gabby she's ripped the lid of
the cup in frustration and she's attempting to drink it from the paper cup while moving
the lid out of the way(LOL). I just found that scene hilarious. I just love Gabby. Have I
mentioned that?

That's what I would have liked to see. More fish outta water stuff please. What was
Xena and Gabrielle's FIRST reaction to TELEVISION? Could you see Gabby's excitement
about having her scrolls on the screen with performers doing her stories? She'd set off to
Hollywood in a heartbeat. And speaking of the 'Gabdrag' that was shown it would have
been a perfect time for the producers to FIX this 'evil'. We watch Xena and Gabrielle
debating about the time frame between when Gabby woke up from her yearlong nap and
when Xena took her to Odin's Pad. Why, yet again on gods green earth, didn't they take
THIS opportunity to have Gabby say, "You never did THAT. Yeah we fought like Hades
but you never dragged me behind a horse. How dare they?!" It would have been perfect
and it would have given the fans a parody of the 'producers' of Xena as well that they
took too much creative freedom with Gabrielle's stories.

I was talking with Tnovan and she pointed out something that I had missed. In the
beginning Alti is given two hairs that belong to Xena and Gabrielle. Both hairs are long.
And both hairs are gray. Now according to some sources Sharon Delaney has said the
last few episodes will give little hints or clues about how things will go down in the
season finale. Some folks have heard a rumor that Xena dies. If that's the case why the
gray hair? Just something to consider.

Anyway as another friend pointed out with the way Xena had her arm wrapped around
Gabby, feeding her champagne it looked like later that night 'Gabby was gettin somethin
that rhythms with paid (LOL)'. I have to admit those clones looked mighty cozy with
each other. (VBG). Yep, the warrior princess was gonna get lucky that night. 

To sum up: Not the best ep. Far from it. Not the worse ep. Far from it. It just fell . . .
flat. Lots of lost opportunities and the sad part is it wasn't lost because of other
'content'. There didn't seem to be any 'content' to this episode. It was a thrown
together clip show, which is very 'un-xenaish'. If anything, Xena has been a series that
has had the best clipshows to date…well at least until this episode. And it's disappointing
because they had a wonderful concept but they just didn't seem to follow-through.

CN Winters
Queen of Subtext