What do you know folks? I managed to get this one up a little early. But enough chit chat...
Virgil and his boy toy are running for their lives from some scary Horde like folks. Redshirt however gets stuck in a bear trap...wait make that a human trap and the Horde takes him away. Virgil looks on in fear as his buddy screams for him.
Cut to opening credits.
Gabby is out hunting a deer but misses and hits a tree. Xena walks up and teases her asking 'What kind of wine goes good with bark?'. Gabby tells her they can always fish but Xena points out that Gabby wanted venison. Seems the bard is having a bad day but Xena looks at it as the deer having a good day. Next they are canoeing down the river. Gabby makes a remark about how calm it is. Xena says, "I was hoping it would have an effect on you." with her playful little grin. Awww...you gotta love it when the WP gets mushy(LOL)
They see Virgil's camp and stop to take a look. After inspecting things Xena can tell - the duo were 'running for their lives'.
Back at cannibal headquarters Virgil is watching from the bushes as his friend gets bar-b-queued. He freaks and runs but silly Virgil trips and alerts the hungry townfolks. Oops. They manage to snare him too.
Gab and Xe are on the river again and they talk about the boy who died in the desert. Seems Gabby still hasn't gotten over it and Xena tries to get Gab to get rid of her guilt. Gab says her reflexes are of a warrior but her judgement is not. Kind of a bad combo if you ask me (VBG).
Xena tells her that Gab made the right call. She was trying to save Xena's life and the boy had no right to come up from behind like that. The leader sent a boy to do a man's job essentially.
Suddenly they get attacked from the bottom as daggers come up through the boat. They whack the attackers who pop up through the water with their oars and manage to make it to shore. More baddies are waiting for them however and warrior and warrior/bard take them on. But they don't seem to fight fair. Xena gets her neck bit. Gabby gets a chunk out of her thigh. During the battle Xena is kicking ass pretty good but Gabby pauses after knocking one of the Horde dudes down. She sees the kid she killed and can't strike. He takes the chance and tries to gut Gabby like a fish. He stabs her side and Gabby yelps. Of course Xena has to scream the preverbal 'Gaaabriiiellllle' (LOL). Gabby manages to fight off a few baddies in her injured state but ends up getting tossed in the river. Well looks like they're going swimming and Xena takes a dive in after her.
Gabby sinks like a rock but Xena manages to fight the tide of a powerful waterfall and save the bard. They find a cove and Gabby points out they were trying to eat them. Xena says yep they're cannibals. Gab says they have to warn Virgil. Xena says she has to take part of the blade that got stuck in Gabby out. Xena tells Gabby she's gotta quite freezing out there but Gabby is not in the mood to hear a lecture at the moment. After Xena gets it out she tries to scale the cliff but the cannibals through some skulls and bones at her.
Xena goes back to Gabby. Gabby knows things look pretty bad but Xena points out they've been through worse. Around this time Virgil tries to tell the uncivilized beasts that he's buddies with Xena and she's gonna kick butt if they don't release him. He puts up a fight but gets locked away for now. He'll be desert later.
In the onset Xena is sitting, holding Gabby. She's getting worse it seems and she starts to babble.
X: Did you say something?
G: My baby. Is it you?
X (playing along): Yeah it's me.
G: I love you. I would never hurt you. You know that don't you?
X: I know.
G: You are my child...You have to go. We have to go. She'll hurt you. She'll take you away from me.
X: You have to rest. You don't have to go anywhere.
G: You don't understand.
X: I understand. I understand everything.
That's the big 'Hope/Eve' talk. Not all that much but the scene did play with a lot of regret and emotion. I thought it was handled much better than the offhanded Gabchak apology.
Anyway, Virgil finds he's not alone in the cell. A very goofy skinny guy lives there. There's tons of food and soon Virgil realizes they want to fatten him up (LOL). Virgil is confident that Xena will find him.
Xena and Gab get ready to scale the wall now that it's night. She and Gabby have this exchange:
G: Xena I have a last wish
X: I don't want to hear it.
G: I'm serious and you don't wanna know?
X: What is it then?
G: I don't want to be buried with the amazons.
X: Alright, well in 50 years when the time comes-.
G: Xena I wanna lie with you. With your family. In Amphipolis.
X: What about your family?
G: I love them but I'm a part of you and I want to be that way forever. I love you . . . This was all my fault.
X: This is not your fault. This is not your fault. It's mine for setting you on a path you were never meant to walk.
G: Any path is okay Xena as long as I'm with you.
Ahhh...the bard loves her warrior. And poor Perdyboy. I guess he'll be walking around Elysia all alone. Perhaps he could find another nice amazon to match up with, perhaps Marcus or Borias, I'm sure they'll be single too. Gabby obviously has other plans (VBG).
Anyway they make it up to the top with Gab tied to Xe's back. Xena whispers to Gabby to trust her. She gives the yiyiyiy and chiiiiiiiya! to get the hungry Hordes attention. She leaves Gabby!!! Oh no!!(VBG) They come over and collect the bard and Xena watches and follows them. Nothing like good bard bait I always say. (VBG) I have to admit that Gabby looks pretty damn tasty...I love Gabby. Have I mentioned that? (VBG)
Anyway, Xena manages to get the last Horde guy and steal his duds. She walks into the camp and scopes things out. The Horde times three (these guys are nasty lemme tell ya) lock Gabs up with Virgil. He tries to get her warmed up with a fur. The meanies bust back in and take her from him. He's all noble saying take me, take me!! So much like his old man(LOL). Anyway, they give her medicine and tend to her wound. They don't understand but as skinny guy points out, they don't want her to 'spoil'(LOL). Now that's funny. (VBG)
The next morning we see Xena plotting at the river. She's become a lumberjack and a beaver all at once - moving boulders and trees that would put Herc to shame (LOL) and all before lunch time I should add. And just guess who's on the menu for lunch?(VBG). You guessed it. Gabs!!!! Xena hears Virgil scream Gabs name and her super human hearing picks up. Seems the bard is in trouble...again....go figure (VBG).
Xena makes her way toward the village – sword twirling and chakram…chakraming… as Gabby is getting a good basting so it soaks in all her natural juices. As Xena gets into the heart of town she opens a can of whoop ass with that playful grin she gets now and then. Gabby busts free and Xena tells her to get Virgil and the horses. Gabby takes a few dudes out and gets the men from the cell. Everyone mounts up and gallops out of town.
Once at a distance they stop and Xena shows off her handy work. Seems the cannibals weren’t the only ones cooking something up, Gabby says. Hahahah…Gabby is so funny after nearly being bar-b-qued. (VBG). Xena tells Virgil and Gabs to cut that line while she goes back to lead the cannibals to their doom. The skinny guy gets the task of taking off with the horses.
Xena draws them to her and down toward the now blocked waterfall. But as lucky would have it a detachment find Gab and Virgil. They do battle and Xena is stuck in the valley fighting off the hungry horde folks. She keeps yelling for Gabrielle to cut the rope but Gabs kinda got her hands full. This time however Gabrielle has no qualms about taking them out and FINALLY cutting the rope. Xena sees it coming. She does one of her world famous flips and clings to the cliff as the Horde gets washed away.
Later Virgil, skinny guy, Gabrielle and Xena are sitting around. Xena asks Gabby how she’s doing? Gabby says Better. Xena says no I meant upstairs. Gabby says she doing okay. She’s learning her way or words to that effect. Skinny guy says, ‘the way?’. And Xena turns to him and says, ‘Who ARE you?’ (LOL). It’s kind of humorous that this ‘guy’ is just hanging out with them with no one really sure who he is. He goes to introduce himself in a very theatrical manner but Virgil cuts him off. Xena and Gabby look at each other in slow mo and we fade to black. If you ask the queen of subtext a kiss would have worked very well right here. (VBG) In fact I think that will be my new campaign – I’ll call it ‘insert the kiss’ all those places where a lip lock between our gals would work. I did notice in this ep that shoulders, foreheads and hands are all expectable to kiss between the girls but no lips as of yet.. .But who knows maybe that kiss campaign will pay off. I think Save Xena did some good. Eps like this are proof. (VBG)
Next week: The Norse trilogy starts. Gab is still alive and around…someplace. Xena is with a tough warrior looking dude fighting what looks like ‘Alien’. But here’s the kicker….seems Xena MADE the monster….Add that to Xena’s many skill list…monster maker. (VBG)