Adventures in the Sin Trade Part I and II
Xena is pi**ed! She's ripping up the trail looking for Hades.
She finds him and tells him to take her to Gabrielle. Hades said she hadn't
been by but she could visit Solon if she likes. Xena refuses, saying it's
Gabrielle she has to know about. They put two and two together and realize
that Gabby must be in the Land of the Dead for Amazons. Hades can't give
her directions but, like always, Xena knows how to get there. Xena ditches
Argo for some other mare (I kept waiting for Ares to show up and offer Argo
the chance . . .oh never mind. . .that's been done before. Although that
hasn't stopped TPTB from beating a dead horse before - no pun intended
Anyway, Xena goes a huntin' and kills her an Elk (you gotta say
that with a southern twang<G>). She hoists it over her shoulder and carries
it to a cave. (She pretty good at it too. Must be from all those times she
carried Gabby to the bedrolls, laid her down and made . . .I'm sorry. I was
thinking of a BL Miller story<VBG>. ) Okay, Xena's got this dead animal so
she makes a new wardrobe outta him (bold choice by the way - wearing Elk
instead of Cow - but the color is all wrong. It's tan and it doesn't bring
out her eyes as much as the black leather. . .ahhh leather. . .oh gods I'm
starting to sound like Ares. Somebody slap me. Ouch!!. . .That's better.
Where was I . . .Oh yeah the dead Elk) Around this time Xena starts flipping
out - she's hearing Gabby call for her, she's wearing this dead animals coat,
she's beginning to smear it's blood on her face and starts to do this funky
dance. If I were on acid I'm sure I'd love this. Kinda like Pink Floyd's
The Wall - I might actually understand it if I'm high. But I'm not a druggie
so I'll just have to think it's TPTB's way of showing Xena flipping out.
Either that or Rob's been hittin' the wacky weed and Lucy really better put
him on a shorter leash. Anyway, Xena doesn't really flip out because she
REALIZES she's flipping out. If someone is truly flipping out everyone else
knows it but them. But from my non-professional psychology background - Xena
still has one foot in reality. She just misses Gabby really, really bad.~sniffle~
Did you get all that? In my non-expert opinion Xena is not clinically insane
(yet<G>). Now lets move on shall we?<G> During Xena's breakdown she remembers
bumping and grinding with Borias. He tells her he loves her. She basically
doesn't give a s**t. Ya know the usual. <BG>
Suddenly a woman comes in with a young girl and tells them she will help them take on the amazons because
she got kicked out for being different. She's some kind of oracle, soothsayer,
etc. and she announces to the room that Xena is pregnant. I personally think
she got kicked out because she wears too much eyeliner<giggle>. Well she
does! Wait until you get a look at her. La Mao she is not. She does, however,
have this cute little amazon she touches seductively and hypnotizes. That
was pretty cool. You can certainly see who the butch is in that
relationship<LOL>. You may also notice that the young woman with the old
witch looks like Gab's a little. Her attire and face to a certain extent.
But that's irrelevant. And it may not even be true. Maybe I just want my
Gabby back so much that I'm seeing her in other women. I love Gabrielle.
Have I mentioned that? <G> We flash-forward now to the present and Xena sees
a young amazon who's impaled on a tree. She fights some of Alti's bad guys
(because it's Xena and there has to be more than one fight scene per ep)
and cuts down the young woman. Some other little 'amazonettes' watch and
consider Xena a friend. One girl recognizes Xena's wail as she stands by
the dead girls pyre, she's built. There's a very touching tribute to Xena
and Gabby's relationship with great dialog. Xena moans and cries and carries
on and on as she thinks of Gabby. The little amazon tells the story of how
Xena was going to kill her but Borias stopped her.
Later Alti tries to seductively convince Xena to kill the girl (watch the way they stand and
Alti's movements<wink,wink>). She tells Xena that the girl will take her
power someday. Xena steps towards her but can't bring herself to do it. Borias
comes in and puts a stop to it. But the amazon girl said she didn't think
Xena would have killed her even if Borias hadn't showed up. About this time,
Xena kills 'the horse she rode in on' - literally. And she begins to drink
its blood. This is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on X:WP. Xena's
spirit then leaves her body and the amazonettes take her to a cave for safety.
Somewhere in here, Alti tells Xena that LaMao's version of 'the truth' was
wrong. And she promises to make Xena 'The Destroyer of Nations', if she helps
her in her quest for this special power she seeks. Xena likes that idea a
lot because she's got that wicked grin that could turn anyone to butter<G>.
Finally Xena meets her goal - she's in the Land of the Dead, though not actually
dead. The young girl she held the pyre for thanks Xena for committing her
body to the flames and asks why Xena is joining her. She tells the woman
she's looking for a friend and once more someone points out that Gabby must
be one 'special friend' if she's going to these links to see her (first time
was Blind Faith BTW, which I will eventually do a report on.). Xena sees
the former Queen of the Siberian Amazons but it's not a very happy reunion.
Turns out the Siberians can't go to 'Eternity' but the other amazons (i.e.
Gabby) can. The queen tells Xena if she want to find 'HER precious Gabby'
she has to climb inside a volcano to get into Eternity. Xena starts to walk
to the volcano but she hears Gabby's voice and stops. Now either she decides
that the climb is just too damn much <G> or she has to right a wrong she
did long ago that hurt the Siberian Amazons. She tells Gabby: "You were my
light. . .I realize what it was you gave me - a light of my own. There's
something I gotta do. Something you'd want me to do. . .I love you." Finally!
An I love you that means something! It wasn't spoken in fear. It wasn't spoken
for forgiveness. It was genuine. And although Gabby couldn't reply, it was
beautiful. Xena now wakes up from her trip to the Dead Land and finds one
of Alti's men tied up. The amazonettes said they were going to kill him but
they give Xena the honor. Xena cuts the man free and tell him to warn Alti
that she's coming. Alti, since she's got that wonder sense, tells the man
when he gets to camp that she already knew of Xena's approach. She sends
out 'the Beserker' after Xena. The amazonettes engage in battle as they approach
Alti's compound, and the Beserker goes after Xena. The Warrior can sense
all of Xena's past hardships of physical pain and make her relive them including
Caesar's attack on her legs. She eventually wins (of course) but her legs
don't feel any better. When the mare, which he was riding, looks at Xena,
they all watch Alti's spirit leave the animal. Xena's legs return to normal
but she knows it's going to be a tough battle ahead. The amazonettes ask
if they'll win and Xena says they must.
To be continued. . . But as for next week we get to see the naked amazon queen strip Xena of her clothing. They
both wear black thongs BTW (hubba,hubba!<LOL>) And as for the disclaimer
- No Dead Amazons lost their lives in the production of this motion picture.
Sin Trade II
Okay Xena has got Otere (the little leader of the amazonettes)
naked in a steam house<VBG> They are 'purging' each other's minds and bodies
for the upcoming battle with Alti (much like the Gabby/Calli scene in TBS).
After the 'purging' Xena tells the story of how she tried to kill Cyane (former
amazon queen) but she bests Xena by stealing her clothes. This woman is one
fast dresser and words don't do the scene justice. At this point in her life
I don't think Xena's used to being undressed by a woman.<BG> or at least
not that quickly.(VBG). Gabby probably takes her time, soaking up Xena's
features, difficulty searching for a starting place. . .but again that's
Anyway, where was I . . .oh yeah Cyane. Okay, she chases Xena down and is
ready to kill her but Borias saves Xena's a*s again. After Xena ends her
little flashback, she tells Otere that she can't make up for the past but
she wants to help the girls future because of what Gabby taught her. A tiny
tear runs down her cheek. I look at it as one) her sorrow for hurting the
amazons and two) she misses gabby and three) she happy that Gabby showed
her a better way of life. . .but once more. . .that's just my theory.
Later that night the amazons do a funky dance (they're always dancing aren't
they?) and they try to free their spirits from their body but Alti best Xena
to the punch and puts some evil spirits into the young amazonettes. They
try to beat up Xena but she fights them off and tells the girls to fight
them away. The 'real' girls come back and the next time they set up a 'ring
of protection' from Alti. She manages to enter however as a spider. It crawls
on Xena's face and morphs into Gabby, reaching lovingly for Xena. I just
love the way Xena says Gabby's name but the 'good times' don't last long
when it turns into Alti. She begins to choke Xena and ask who the 'blonde'
is. She's very 'jealous' if you ask me(G). Kinda like a Gabby/LaMao thing
Xena tells Alti that's her lover. . .nono. . .just kidding(G). .. she tells
her Gabby is light and innocence and what's what Alti fears because that's
what can defeat her. She promptly passes out as Alti leaves and the amazonettes
find themselves dragging the unconscious Xena behind a horse. When Xena wakes
up they travel to the 'Resting Place' and she tells the story of how Alti
cursed her child to never know his parents and how she made Alti so strong.
She knocked off Cyane and the amazons so Alti could steal their spirits,
not letting them into eternity and giving her the evil power she needs.
As she finishes she feels Alti approach and puts the pinch on everyone. All
their spirits jump into Xena's spirit and Alti and she do battle. Alti tries
to defeat Xena by showing her her future. Xena sees what looks like a Persian
kicking her down some stairs. She sees some Romans while she's in a burning
village. During the 'spirit' battle Xena gets a few good licks in(G) but
it isn't enough and Alti decides to kill Xena by showing her death. (Now,
not that I'm complaining(G) but I see a plot hole. If Alti knows how Xena
dies then why is she fighting Xena. She should know she can't win because
Xena lives to see another day right? Anyway. . .)
The last scene of Xena's future was probably the one of the best in the series
history. I liked it so much I had to write a fan fiction story called 'The
End' because of it. Enough with the shameless plug(G). Back to my point.
. .)We see Xena start to lay down but it's a reflection in a roman shield.
We watch the Romans tie down a woman and Xena as well when Xena calls over
it's Gabrielle. Gabby turns, short hair and all (She looks like Meg Ryan
- No lie!!(LOL)) and Gabrielle says 'I love you Xena'. With that they begin
to NAIL them to the cross. That's a subtext point all in it's own because
they are 'do-gooders' who get nailed to a cross. Does that sound like anyone
else in world history?(VBG). Anyway, it was a beautiful Xena scene.
Alti asks if she likes to see what has happened to her and her friend and
Xena says yes. Alti can't quite understand and Xena says that if Gabby's
there at her death then that means she's alive now. With that knowledge Xena
turns it up. She ain't gonna let this woman kill her if her bard is still
out there somewhere. Naha. No way. And with that Xena kicks the heck outta
Alti (literally) and impales her on a tree.
Xena's spirit and the amazonette's spirits return. Xena gives Otere her
leadership of the amazons fulfilling the 'power prophecy'. Otere asked her
to stay but Xena says she has to go. 'She's alive' she says showing her crucified
hands and soon she's galloping back to Greece for her bard.
Spoiler of next week have X and G meeting in town and a monster that's something
between the Swamp Thing and the Creature of the Black Lagoon is wrecking
havoc on the reunion. Warning: Joxer IS in this ep(VBG)
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