Okay, I'm convinced that these two women are lovers. I didn't see any passionate kisses but the depths these two go through - heaven and hell, then heaven and hell and then heaven and . . .well . . . you get the picture.
The story opens with Joxer finding the little amazonette (who I believe is Calli's sister but that remains to be seen) who points out dead Xena and Gabby. Joxer says he's taken them back because Xena wanted to be buried with her brother and Gabby wanted to be buried with Xena. Gee, wonder why Gabby didn't want to be buried next to her hubby(LOL) I mean after all isn't that how it goes - you get bury with your hubby; not your 'best friend'(LOL). Anyway. . .
Xena and Gab are sitting on a rock when the angels come to take them to 'paradise' aka heaven. The demons however attack and Gabby gets knocked down to hell. Xena manages to fight off Demon Callisto who, let me tell you, is pretty damn ugly. Archangel Michael saves Xena and tells her Gabby's gone to hell.
Xena won't stand for that because well . . . it's Gabby after all(G). She takes a challenge by walking through a cave of fire and becomes an angel to save her bard. Down in hell Gabby is waking up to find an arm drapped around her. Once more it's not Perdyboy who's in her mind but Xena and she calls out her name. But it's actually Calli who starts tormenting Gabby. Calli wants Gabby to eat some demon food to make her a demon but Gabby isn't going for it.
Back on earth, Eli, amazonette and Joxer cut down the bodies.
Gabby still refuses the food but the demons force feed her and turn her into one of them. And let me tell you again. Gabby can be quite the bitch when she wants to be. She and Calli start getting into a great cat fight. All they need was bikini's and a little mud (VBG). However it doesn't last long.
Xena and her angels attack. Calli and Xena fight as Michael grabs Gabrielle so he can take her to 'paradise' and cure her in the holy waters. Calli then proceeds to tell Xena about how Xena ruined her life. Xena realizes the pain she caused and Xena gives Callisto her light and takes her place in hell.
Back in heaven Gabby gets cured and sees angel Callisto and she ain't too happy about it. Seems calli doesn't remember killing Perdyboy (in fact I'm surprised Gabby even remembered him(LOL)). Calli apologizes but Gabby thinks she's evil.
Back on earth, again, amazonette tells Eli it's all his fault they are dead because of his preaching about love and peace. He wanders off as Joxer and amazonette get ready to head for Greece.
Xena is now 'the master's' henchman (you never hear God or Satan mentioned BTW) and rallies the troops to take heaven. Michael knows this and thinks Xena might be able to beat him but Gabby insists to use her as the bait to trap her. Mike tells Gabby Xena would have to spend eternity in pieces and Gabby says they gotta do what they gotta do. She wants to be an archangel too but must go through a test Xena did earlier.
No fire for Gabby though. She walks into the cave and sees callisto. They talk, they hug, they make up. Gabby's forgivens allows her to get her wings.
Back on earth Eli sulks about having a great power and can't help his friends and Callisto suddenly hears his pleas.
Xena and her troops attack. Xena seeks Gabby out as Gabby assumed she would and begs her to come to hell with her because, as Xena puts it, 'their love knows no bounds, not even heaven or hell can seperate them' and 'their souls are bonded for eternity' so she should come with her. Gabby refuses. The archangels attack Xena and she fights them off.
Gabby takes flight knowing Xena will follow her and leave the battle giving the archangels the chance to win. They draw swords and trade blow for blow against each other. Gabby almost gets the upper hand but falls to the rock ledge where the battle is wearing down. Xena follows. She caresses Gabby's face, picking her up.
Back on Earth, Eli returns to the bodies and tries to heal them. Callisto shows up and puts her hands on his trying to draw their spirits back.
Back in Paradise, Michael watches Xena carrying wounded Gabby to take her to hell to be with her. Gabby begs her not to do it but Xena jumps off the cliff to the underworld. Michael joins them and Gabby screams for Michael to help her. Xena's response? A sarcastic reply of his name before she pops him in the face.(LOL) Xena is such a jealous creature I tell you(VBG).
Before they can return to hell though Gabby starts to disappear and soon Xena and even Michael do too. Our heros open their eyes with a jolt and are alive again. Angel Calli and Michael look on and Calli touches her heart and then Xena, giving her back some of her light. As Gabby cuddles up next to Xena, Michael allows Callisto to see her family again. Only her mother and her father are present though - no sister. They all embrace and Gabby declares to Xena that they'll be together through eternity. Xena agrees. Fade to black.
Disclaimer: Hell hath no fury than a woman scorn(LOL) (No I'm not making that up. That was this weeks disclaimer).
I thought this was a really good ep. And believe it or not I'm actually looking forward to Season Five. Next weeks ep looks pretty good too. Xena gets her chakram fixed but she loses her 'evil side' in the process and gets the crap kicked out of her. But don't worry, I'm sure our warrior princess will be kicking a little fanny again soon enough(VBG). Enjoy.
Back to Subtext Reports Page