Who's Gurkhan
Our tale opens with Xena, Gabby, Eve and Virgil walking through Poteidaia with Gabby wondering out loud if her old house is still there. They decide to check it out there but when they get there it’s a bit run down. Nothing a little fixing up and paint couldn’t cure optimistic Virgil says. Besides it’s the people inside that still matter Eve points out. Of course the people inside could be new occupants that Gabby never laid eyes on before (LOL). Gabby looks undecided but Xena says go on. And you know if Xena says jump . . .
Gabrielle makes her way to the front door as the team stays behind and watches white knuckled and chewing fingernails. Gabby goes to knock when the door opens. It’s Lila looking like she aged pretty well<G>. They hug and the next we see everyone inside. A storm is coming into town as Gabby and Lila sit by the fireplace. Virgil and Eve are at the ‘kitchen’ table sitting next to each other as Xena stands in the background. Eve must have a lot of faith in her one god because Virgil is cleaning his sword. I kept waiting for him to turn around and stab her with it (LOL). But he seems to have worked through his grief and hey . . . who cares if Joxer is dead anyway, right? (VBG).
Lila says she wishes that Sarah were there to see Gabby. ‘Who’s Sarah?’ Gabby asks. Turns out Gabby is an aunt. Gabby wants to know where she is but Lila can’t form the words. Gabby asks where mother and father are. That’s when Lila spills the beans – seems Gurkhan rode into town 8 years ago and took Sarah. Hecuba, Herodeus and Lila’s husband Lecter sold most of the farm to try to buy Sarah back but got beheaded for their trouble. Gabby’s pissed. Beyond pissed and she darts outside. Xena chases after her telling her to hold up. Gabrielle screams that she wants vengeance. Xena said they will get Sarah back but that’s not good enough for ole Gabs. Oh no! She’s gonna make Gurkhan pay and she ain’t takin’ American Express (G) (Rental of a ship to North Africa - $250 dinars, Pay for scurvy crew - $150 dinars, Look on warlord’s face when you gut him like a fish – priceless (VBG). )
The fearsome four (Eve, Virgil, Xena and Gabby) are all on a ship headed to Africa. Seems Eve knows Gurkhan’s hide out before she become God’s little apprentice. As Gabby works out with her sais Eve asks what’s the plan. Gabby tells her she’ll get inside, kill Gurkhan and get her niece. Eve thinks that’s just great however that’s Gabby’s goal. What’s the plan? Gabby’s working on it seems. Eve confesses that she’s sold women to Gurkhan during her Livia days but she’s never seen the man. No one has it seems. After Eve walks away Xena comes up and Gabby remarks how causal Eve talks about her past. Xena says it’s because it’s in the past and she can’t change it. But she’s realized, like herself, the future and today is what matters. At this point Xena tells Gabby that she’s not a murderer. Gabby says no today she isn’t but tomorrow she will be. Gabby promptly walks to the edge of the ship and loses her cookies.
Eve and Xena have a heart to heart talk about their blood shedding ways. Eve says that she must have gotten her killer instinct from Xena because Gabrielle can’t kill in cold blood. Okay Okay. Now wait a second here. Just why would Gabby’s lack of ‘killer genes’ have anything to do with Eve unless . . . Damn it Tapert!! Quit reading my Change of Heart fan fiction would ya?! For crying out loud he’s stealing my concept of Eve being Xena AND Gabby’s daughter….What a worm that Tapert! (VBG). Ahhh…I feel better now. Okay. Where was I? Oh yeah sensitive warrior chat time. Anyway, Xena says that for Gabby this is going to be a suicide mission. Eve asks what Xena plans to do. ‘Cure her sea sickness’, Xena answers.
Next we see Gabby sawing logs thanks to some herbs Xena gave her to settle her stomach. Settle her stomach and knock her out. (hehehehee). Xena tells Virgil he’s gonna help sell her on the slave market. Virgil says absolutely not. That would betray Gabby’s trust. Xena applies a little pressure and much like his old man he cowers away but agrees.
Xena and Virgil show up at the ‘trade show’ of human flesh and Virgil wants to find out what he could get for Xena. The auctioneer looks Xena over and rips her clothes off. Virgil’s eyes get wide at the sight. Instead of one of arousal though it looks like one of shock, more like, "Oh my god he torn off her dress. She’s gonna kill him." Of course he does look at Xena as the man appraises her – seems Xena would be a fine catch for day and night. The auctioneer wants 15% and Virgil agrees. Xena tells Virgil that when Gurkhan bids to get behind him and find out something.
When the bidding does start three different men raise their hand – all of them Gurkhan. Virgil is confused. Xena is sold and the warrior princess is off to her new master. Gabby wakes up from her nap asking where Xena is. Eve gives her a tender smile, which makes Gabby sick all over again. Virgil comes back to the ship with a bag of dinars singing a song about selling maidens. Doesn’t take long for Gabby to put two and two together. She’s pissed at them but Eve and Virgil point out that they love her and that’s why they did it. Gabby doesn’t seem to give a damn and decides that since Virgil helped Xena he’s gonna help her too.
Xena is at the palace bathhouse. She’s chatting with a Chin gal asking if she knows a Sarah. Seems the wives aren’t permitted to speak about each other of they get a royal butt kickin. A woman walks in announcing that she is the first wife (pretty lady, blonde, kinda looks a bit like Gabby in a way. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Xena cops and attitude and gets a face full of the woman’s foot. Ouch! But Xena decides not to kick her ass and plays the submissive. All the girls line up for Gurkhan – well the three Gurkhan’s. Seems that three men are playing the same role to keep the real Gurkhan a secret. While sitting there a man comes in with another slave. Xena hears the voice and the intro and knows that it’s Virgil and Gabby.
Virgil offers Gabby as a gift, hoping to make future deals and Gabby does a little dance for him. I love Gabby. Have I mentioned that? (VBG). In the mists of the dance Xena gazes on Gabrielle with dare I say lust? I dare. I dare. (VBG) But she also looks down right pissed. She’s not sure if she should kiss the girl or kill her.
As Gabby dances closer Xena notices that Gabby has a knife stashed behind her. She’s gonna make a stab at Gurkhan but Xena jumps her and takes it without anyone’s knowledge. She knocks Gabby on the head and takes the knife as if she’s going to stab her saying that no one is going to win Gurkhan over before her. The guards knock her out and she falls on top of Gabrielle. Poor ROC, probably knocked the wind out of her to have LL sprawled all over her. (LOL)
They take Xena to the dungeon where they beat her repeatedly. She’s looking pretty damn rough to say the least but she has visions of Gabby stroking her face and doing the sexy dance in front of her while the real Gurkhan interrogates her. Xena tells him that she wants the top spot in the harem. They let her live and take her back to the harem hang out. Xena hobbles inside and collapses on the pillows. Gabby rushes over and offers her cuddles. Gabby asks how Xena is doing and she says just peachy. By the look of Xena’s eyes she should be losing her sight. But then again this is the Xenaverse so after some tender loving care from Gabby (G). She’s as good as new in no time. The girls all line up again and Gurkhan picks Xena to dance for him that evening.
As Gabby does a little paint by numbers on Xena’s face preparing her for Gurkhan, the two of them talk. Xena tells Gabby if she wants to kill Gurkhan, she won’t stop her. It’s her right. Gabby takes her up on it.
Xena goes to the gala. She does her little sexy dance for Gurkhan and when she’s finished she says she has a request. Gurkhan asks what it is. Xena tells him she wants Sarah’s head on a platter. Gurkhan agrees and wife number one puts up a fight. At least we know who Sarah is now. Xena and Gurkhan go off to his ‘private quarters’ (hubba hubba) to do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight. Gurkhan is very willing at this point but Xena pauses a moment to whisper something in his ear. He smiles and obviously likes her idea.
We see Xena straddling Gurkhan when Gabby is lead into the bedroom. Gurkhan tells her to join them as Xena gives him a wicked smile. As Gabby approaches the bed Xena pulls out the old pinch on him making him paralyzed. Xena climbs off him giving Gabby the all clear. Gabby pulls the knife out of its sheath and proceeds to climb up Gurkhan’s body. She taunts him about killing her family, asking him if he’s scared. Of course he can’t answer – the pinch is pretty effective (G). She decides however if she kills him then she’s no better than he is and moves away. He sighs in relief but she comes back over him in tells him that she hates him. She rises again but returns to beat the crap out of him. Xena just looks on and lets Gabby get it out of her system.
When she’s done they go to the cell to see Sarah. Gabby tells her who they are and that they are going to take her home. Sarah is resistant. She’s done a lot of bad, bad things. Gabby tells her that she was just a scared kid. She did what she could to survive. Sarah said they would never make it out of the castle. They will hunt them down if she’s gone. Xena says they found a loophole and throw Gurkhan in the dungeon. Xena goes back to all the girls and tells them they are going on a cruise. As the boat is getting loaded the executioner comes in to decapitate Sarah – however it’s Gurkhan covered in the royal robes. After the deed is done they see that it’s Gurkhan’s head and spaz out (LOL).
On the boat Xena watches Eve and Gabrielle at the side of the ship. Sarah walks over and says she’s done some pretty terrible things. Gabrielle said she’s taking her home to her mother. Sarah doesn’t see how her mother could ever love her after all she’s done. Eve tells her she doesn’t know ‘mothers’ very well and Gabby gives Eve an affectionate grin and tells Sarah she’s in the right company. Xena smiles as their family gets a little bit larger with the new addition. And they sail away on Rob’s Folly (VBG) – the famous Xena ship for those that don’t know.
Fade to Black.
I think folks that like the ‘classic’ Xena’s will enjoy this ep. It was good. Kinda like Coming Home. Not great but good none the less.
Next week Gabby kills the wrong person and gets up to her neck in trouble (okay well it’s up to her neck in sand). Seems that Gabby will be set to die at sunrise…but not if Xena can help it I’m sure. So next week looks like it’s Missy Good’s second contribution with the ep ‘Legacy"
CN Winters